and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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