doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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