But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize