we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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