Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize