he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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