We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
