if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
