NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
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I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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