I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
