I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
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