I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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