Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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