If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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