saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
