yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
