when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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