He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
