I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
