it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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