I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I think my moral compass just broke
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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