last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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