Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
