What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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