My room smells like vodka and shame
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
