Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize