i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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