The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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