just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
