guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
