its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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