i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
