I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
