im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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