me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
