we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
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No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
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If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize