Yo dont text me then not text me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
