Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
