Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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