when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
