first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize