wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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