1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
