If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
