why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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