Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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