She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
we're so committed to being not committed
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