It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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