I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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