i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
