yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
