you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if i died would you start the facebook group?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
