Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
