her vagine was all disorganized.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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