he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
