maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Randomize
