If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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